Let’s talk about strength. Not the kind you show off in the gym (though good on you if that’s your thing).

I’m talking about the strength it takes to lead a team, run a business, and still have enough energy left to be a half-decent human being at the end of the day.

Because here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: you can have the plan, the strategy, the colour-coded calendar… But if you don’t have the energy to deliver any of it, it all falls flat.

And that energy? It doesn’t just appear. It’s built. Quietly. Intentionally. Through the small habits we prioritise long before the chaos hits.

I was reminded of this (in the most ridiculous way) while sprinting through New York, thinking I was about to miss Hugh Jackman on stage. Heart pounding, sweat pouring, lungs begging for mercy… and all I could think was: “I should’ve been training for this.” 😂

And just like that, it clicked: leadership is the same.

You don’t just show up strong in the storm. You build that strength when it’s calm, through the daily choices that fuel your energy, steady your emotions, and keep you grounded.

And if you don’t? Well, let’s just say I’ve seen what that looks like too.

Years ago, I worked for someone I now lovingly refer to as “the world’s most unpredictable boss.” He was brilliant. And also… terrifying. One day he’d be warm and approachable. The next? A human storm cloud.

That job taught me a lot… mostly about what not to do.

So today, I’m sharing the four biggest emotional regulation lessons I learned from that experience (and later had to learn again myself).

1. Consistency Creates Safety

When I worked under that boss, we’d literally do a “temperature check” before deciding whether it was safe to ask a question or request leave. His assistants gave us daily mood forecasts like it was the weather. It sounds ridiculous. But that’s what happens when a leader is emotionally unpredictable—everyone walks on eggshells.

That taught me this: consistency builds trust. Not perfection, not endless positivity. Just consistent, grounded presence. That’s what creates a safe space for people to do their best work.

2. Emotions Are Contagious

If I’m stressed, reactive or distracted, it spills out. And not just on my team, but on my clients, my partner, my kids.

I’ve learned that how I manage my emotions sets the tone. My energy is the weather system for the day.  And if I want calm, focused, connected people around me… I have to start with myself.

3. You Can’t Fake Wellbeing

In the early years of my business, I wore the “I’ve got this” mask like a badge of honour.  Even when I didn’t. I pushed through exhaustion. I ignored what I needed. And I kept the mask on until it cracked, and I cracked with it.

That taught me: pretending you’re fine isn’t the same as being fine. And burnout doesn’t care how polished your Instagram grid is.

4. Self-Regulation Is Leadership

Taking care of myself—physically, emotionally, mentally—isn’t indulgent. It’s essential.
It’s what allows me to lead with clarity, compassion and capacity. Because if I can’t hold myself steady, how can I expect to hold space for my team, my clients, or my community?

Self-regulation isn’t a luxury for when things slow down. It’s the leadership skill that keeps you strong enough to handle the chaos when it comes. And it will come.

This is your reminder: you don’t need a total overhaul. You just need one small, intentional action to start turning the dial up on your strength.

Because when the Hugh Jackman moments come—whether they’re thrilling or turbulent—I want you to be ready.